Flash Fiction Writing

Flash Fiction Writing

WALT: ask people for FB and FF

My flash fiction was based on a pobble 365 image. I really like the way the story came out other than the ending because it was really short and rushed because the maximum number of words was 500. But you could use a little more as long as it was less than 600 words. I had 584 words in my flash fiction. Which was really close. But other than the ending I think that the story came out well! What do you think?

The Sunken island

¨‘I wonder if Zac and Susan are alright..’ Oliver thought to himself as he searched around the weird island he washed up on. He thought it was very strange because he had been looking for life on this vast island he thought. During his searching, he found an amazing city! He didn't know if this was a big city but it was for him. He had always dreamed of seeing a city because Oliver was born in a small isolated town far, far from anywhere quite as spectacular as this. The only other reason he thought it was strange was the way everyone acted it was quite weird he would see them staring at him them once they realized they’d been seen they’d simply look away. Oliver saw a little boy, Oliver gave him a bright smile, the boy looked around nervously and whispered “The water is coming, hurry and leave while you still can..” he paused, looked around and then continued “Please don’t end up like all of us, die out in sea, not on this island you’ll be trapped here.. Please..” the boy begged. Oliver's smile dropped “What?”

“Zac where are we going?! You just passed our fishing spot!” Oliver yelled over the waves and wind, Zac shouted back “You’ll see! Susan and I have been there before it’s amazing! Ten times better than that stupid fishing spot!” he yelled back. ‘Hmph! Nothing can top that fishing spot!’ annoyed Oliver thought. ‘How come Zac always got to choose the fishing spots?’ Oliver was so busy in thought that he didn’t realize that Susan had come up to him. He wondered what she wanted because she was supposed to help Zac. Susan smiled and told him ¨It’s great I promise!¨

Oliver was still bummed they weren't fishing at their usual spot so he didn’t see the giant wave forming. When Oliver noticed he yelled at Zac saying there was a wave but it was too late. The wave was already towering over them. Guilt found its way into Oliver´s heart he was supposed to look out for big waves, yet, out of sheer stubbornness he did not. He felt responsible, he felt that if they died it was his fault. He started praying, he didn’t believe in god or anything like that but he prayed that his friends would survive. He wasn’t sure who he was praying to, just anyone who was listening. Then the wave hit the boat Oliver filled his lungs with what he thought was his last breath, then he felt wave hit his face, then his body, he felt himself being pulled down by the strong wave, he couldn’t fight it... he looked up with difficulty and saw the sun fading as he went deeper and deeper into the dark depths of the ocean…

The boy said urgently ¨Run away from the island! Never return! Hurry and leave! Oliver looked around, he saw water, it was surrounding them... It was coming from the ocean! Oliver looked around everyone was vanishing! The city turned to ruins Oliver looked to the boy only to see he had vanished as well! He ran and ran. Years later someone went to the same island claiming they saw a little boy and a man about mid-twenties. They say he called himself Oliver… Saying the ocean keeps him hostage here... Wow what a great story!¨ The man named Oliver said before walking off… Never to be seen again…

By Kelsey